Elephants never forget, but they don’t remember as much as Sam Stow. AOC’s human encyclopaedia downloads another week’s worth of information from the part of his brain labelled ‘cricket’.
I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it. It’s unlikely that The Pointer Sisters were anticipating a visit from Matt Prior when they sang their famous track back in 1982, but that’s exactly what I’m doing as I write this column. Who wouldn’t want to meet the world’s finest keeper batsman? I’m sure Matt’s really looking forward to it. Anyway, while I’m off signing autographs it’s time for you to take your weekly trip to my school of cricket weirdness…
Lesson 1. You can be sweet and salty at the same time
There are a lot of awards handed out after cricket matches in the UAE. In fact, there are so many that if you don’t get one you’ve probably either retired hurt or just played your last international innings. Our favourite by a long shot however, is the Sweet and Salty award, which – of course – is given to a player who has put in a sweet and salty performance. Confused? Join the club.
Lesson 2. There’s no better way to spend Valentine’s Day than watching MMA
That’s Mixed Martial Arts in case you’re wondering. We get a few weird emails to our comments address, but this was certainly the pick this week.
Lesson 3. Andy Flower is related to Umar Gul
At least, they might be. ‘Gul’ means ‘Flower’ in Persian and Urdu.
Lesson 4. Neil Mallender is Saxondale
A little bird tells us that the umpire and former England, Somerset and Northants seamer likes nothing more than to listen to a bit of heavy metal before he goes out to officiate.
Lesson 5. It pays to have Steven Finn as your diarist
Since signing up England’s fast bowling sensation last month, we decided we should back our man when it came to choosing bets for our office syndicate. Two four-fers later, Finny’s proved he’s a ‘nice little earner’. Naturally, we’ll be sticking a few more quid on him for the third and fourth ODI.
Click here to read what AOC learnt last week
