Accrington and Sky Sports’ much-loved David Lloyd takes on AOC’s 21 questions.
Describe yourself in one word.
Any words or phrases you overuse?
Yes, ‘For me’. I get told off by an old friend of mine back home. In the pub he says, ‘For me came out again!’ Sorry, Tony!
What is your most marked characteristic?
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
These are tough! [long pause] That one’s too personal… [another long pause] I wouldn’t want to put that either… I’ve made that many mistakes the book wouldn’t be big enough
What is your idea of happiness?
An afternoon fishing and then a game of golf. Happiness has been rare these days…
Who would you like to play you in a film of your life?
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Loudness. On the train, in the quiet carriage: ‘I’m in the quiet carriage!’ Well shut up, then!
Which living person do you most admire and why?
My mate Clark’s just got a lovely new car. An Audi A8 Quattro, it’s lovely. Lucky sod
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
Elvis, it’s gotta be
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Fishing with Beefy, Gadget and the Egg-man, last October in Scotland. We didn’t catch one fish for five days. That was terribly disappointing
What’s your favourite joke?
Here’s one. A skeleton walks up to the bar and says ‘Can I have a pint and a mop?’ Do you want a better one than that? Our vicar’s gone missing, we’ve not seen him for a fortnight. We’ve reported it to the missing parson’s bureau
Most important lesson life has taught you?
Be yourself. My dad taught me that
What becomes of the broken hearted?
[Sings] What becomes of the broken hearted… da, da, da, da, now departed. I always want to find, some kind of peace of mind, tell meeeeee. Jimmy Ruffin! 1966. Motown label. Done
What’s wrong with the world?
In which era would you most like to have lived?
When William the Conqueror were about and I’d have been calling for him and asking if he were coming out conkering today. I’d ask his mum, ‘Is your William coming out conkering today?’
If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
I love dogs. Love a dog. I dunno what I’d be without my dogs. I’ve got a fox terrier but I’ve had springers, golden retrievers. Dog
What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
Perfect sunset in Barbados
Who is your favourite fictional hero?
Early D from Bellamy’s People!
Most overrated virtue?
You’ve got me with that one. After you, Claude!
What if God was one of us?
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Well, it’s the rooster, isn’t it? Yeah, it’s the rooster, obviously!