Wayne Rooney taps nervously on Sir Alex Ferguson’s door and enters his manager’s office

“Hello Wayne, what can I do for you?”

“Hi boss,” mumbles Rooney. “I just wanted to let you know I’m going to miss the first six weeks of the season.”

“What! You haven’t done your metatarsal again, have you?” demands an anxious Ferguson.

“No, nothing like that boss. I’m not injured. It’s just that I’ve agreed to play for the Abu Dhabi Anteaters in the UAE Premier League. The competition starts the same day as the Premier League and finishes at the end of September. I thought I should let you know.”

Fergie’s response would of course be unprintable and the scenario fortunately for Rooney’s health is about as likely as a 60-ball hundred from Jonathan Trott, but several counties face a not dissimilar situation as the County Championship kicks off.

Sussex – who look set to face a tough challenge to remain in Division One this season – have lost the services of allrounder Luke Wright to Pune Warriors, whilst Essex’s attempt to gain promotion from Division Two will be made more difficult given that Owais Shah will be warming the bench with the Rajasthan Royals. Sadly, these are not isolated cases.

Whilst the riches of a six-week sojourn in India far outweigh the financial rewards on offer in county cricket, what price for loyalty? Surely, Kevin Pietersen and Stuart Broad owe their counties a few appearances rather than jetting off for stints with Delhi and Punjab, respectively. And a couple of weeks rest followed by a Championship match or two would be ideal preparation for the Test match summer.

Some will point to the fact that a few weeks of Twenty20 cricket could benefit the likes of Broad, Pietersen and Eoin Morgan with England aiming to defend their World Twenty20 crown in Sri Lanka in September, but I’d be surprised if Andy Flower subscribes to that view. Morgan especially could do with prioritising scoring some early season runs in the Championship for Middlesex as part of an attempt to win his Test spot back.

The IPL already casts a long shadow over county cricket with the season starting earlier than ever as a direct consequence of the Champions League being scheduled in September. This means that whilst Wright is enjoying a balmy Mumbai in evening for Pune’s opening match, his Sussex teammates will be contesting with forecasted temperatures of six degrees at The Oval.

Collingwood, Shah, Wright and other county stars like Alfonso Thomas and Dimi Mascarenhas will arrive back from the IPL at the end of May, a couple of weeks before the start of the domestic Friends Life t20 competition. Manchester United’s manager wouldn’t tolerate the loss of players that he had nurtured, developed and invested in to a foreign domestic league, and neither should county cricket.

David Green is the warped mind behind The Reverse Sweep cricket blog and regards Douglas Jardine as his ultimate cricket hero. You can follow David on Twitter @TheReverseSweep

As the Big Bash is inherently quick and dirty I feel no shame in a five-point rundown of the tournament’s opening exchanges. Six games in and, unsurprisingly, it’s hard to not talk about Shane Warne…

1. 19 – 7 = Brilliant

What’s the difference between 7 and 19? It’s not a trick question – the answer is 12, or in this case two sixes. This exercise in basic arithmetic came to mind as I watched Fox Sport’s Inside Cricket Show and inevitably their discussion on the first round of Big Bash matches turned to Warnie’s return to competitive cricket.

If you didn’t notice The Blond’s first performance you can be forgiven because it was of the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it variety. He came, he saw, he bowled two overs, got knocked for 19 and then returned to his fielding and wasn’t asked to turn his arm over again.

According to one of the pundits, Warne actually bowled very well and “if you take out the two sixes he only conceded seven from 10 balls.” Now, I don’t know about you, but the last time I looked sport, and cricket in particular, doesn’t work like that. It’s not a case of woulda, shoulda, coulda, it’s a case of what actually happened. The fact is he got hit for two sixes, went for 19 runs and they’re the only stats that count.

2. It’s Better On TV

That last subhead was incredibly difficult to write and I feel dirty and in need of a shower having done so. Live sport is something I have devoted a large part of my life to. Being there makes sport more enjoyable, more visceral, more immediate. You become part of the spectacle you are enjoying. And yet cricket can also be frustrating in that you don’t have the benefits of replays, it can be difficult to work out how much the ball is moving, how much a ball is turning or get an appreciation of those finer things that technology unravels for us.

This was all surmountable until Warnie decided to mike himself up for the Big Bash. Usually the gimmick of being able to talk to players while on the pitch is just that – a cheap gimmick that adds nothing to the game. But Warne talks you through his overs. He tells you what he is thinking, what his plans are and what he is going to bowl. Hearing him tell the world he was going to push through a quicker one to surprise Brendon McCullum before doing just that to bowl him out was magical and absolutely brilliant television.

3. The Odd Couple

I never imagined that in my cricket-watching career I would witness Luke Wright bowling in tandem with Shane Warne. It’s incredibly incongruous and more than a little perturbing. Wright must feel like a kid at Christmas; despite the fact he’s 26, he still does have the look of a kid. Sadly, he’s not quite holding up his end of the deal after being smashed at just shy of 10 an over from his eight so far, but the weirdest thing about it was that while Warne was mooching about in the field during the first game and not bowling his full complement the Sussex allrounder did go through his. Sod global warming and financial crises, when Wright bowls four overs and SK Warne only bowls two, you know the world is seriously in turmoil.

4. English Roses Are Wilting

Luke Wright is not the only Englishman to struggle so far. His Melbourne Stars teammate Jade Dernbach has also had a miserable start to the tournament, returning figures of 0-36 and 1-44 in his first two matches, and at least Wright can point to an unbeaten 27* in the first match and a couple of catches to justify his place. The Surrey paceman dropped two against Brisbane Heat, including one absolute sitter from Brendon McCullum when the Kiwi had made just 13 of his 36.

Meanwhile, Paul Collingwood had a game to forget in his first outing for Perth Scorchers, bowling two overs for 20 runs and scoring just four off 13 balls. He did effect a couple of run outs, one of them on his compatriot Owais Shah. Shah’s performance seems unremarkable, scoring 24 off 19, but in a game with only 249 runs for 20 wickets he was the third top-scorer and arguably one of the biggest differences between the two teams, so we should cut him some slack and give him the credit he deserves. Nottinghamshire batsman Michael Lumb’s opening 18 had less impact on the Sydney Sixers’ win over Brisbane Heat, but there is one English representative having a huge effect…

5. Hurley Mania

Liz Hurley is absolutely everywhere. You can’t turn the TV on without seeing her. You can’t open a newspaper without seeing her. The fact she kissed Warne in public was headline news. She was even wheeled out to perform the toss before Warne’s first game. The joy at watching Warne talk through his overs live on TV is offset by the fact that every 30 seconds they cut from footage of him to gauge her reaction. Anyone would think that Prince Philip was playing and the Queen was watching.

When Oprah visited Australia last year it was like a god had popped in from above and deigned to spend some time here. When anyone of international acclaim arrives on these shores they are welcomed as if they are a deity. The resultant gushing, fawning excitement over Hurley’s presence here is remarkable and a bit sickening. Even ex-cricketers who have played at the very top of the game, visited the world and met great statesmen talk about meeting her in hushed tones of awe. It’s Liz freaking Hurley for god’s sake. Who really cares?

Paul Winslow is a freelance journalist based in Melbourne. Check out more of his work at www.thewinslowboy.com.au.

Click here to read his reaction to Australia’s defeat to New Zealand.

Marcus Trescothick

Somerset

FTI MVP: 1st
LV=CC FTI MVP: 1st
FLt20 FTI MVP: 6th
May FTI MVP winner

Half man, half run machine who comes with a 2,500 per year run guarantee. Has two main programmes: Watertight (referring to his technique, mainly used in Championship cricket at the start of an innings) and Blast (an overdrive programme that brings all boundaries within reach and ups his strike rate to 150 runs per 100 balls).
BEST: 108 off 61 balls against Essex; a knock as brutal as it was clinical that took him 1,441 runs across all forms.

Luke Wright

Sussex

FLt20 FTI MVP: 1st

The personification of the new-age cricketer: bats, bowls and fields; photogenic, media-friendly and always puts the team first. His 224 runs at 150 runs per 100 balls – including 24 fours and seven sixes – from the opening berth, in addition to five wickets at a healthy economy rate of 6.17 runs per over, has helped Sussex to start strongly in the South Group.
BEST: 81 not out off 51 balls against Essex, a knock held the innings together as wickets fell around him

Rana Naved-Ul-Hasan

Sussex

FTI MVP: 7th
FLt20 FTI MVP: 5th

Pony-tailed Pakistani paceman who combines toe-crushing yorkers with cleverly disguised slower balls and rip-snorting bouncers. Loves his new hair, loves taking wickets, loves a celebration, loves Sussex by the sea. What a player.
BEST: His haul of 5-17 against Essex at Chelmsford that helped take his tally to 12 for the FLt20 (economy 5.67 runs per over) and 44 across all competitions.

The FTI MVP is a comprehensive marking system that allows player performance to tracked in incredibel detail. Produced by the PCA and FTI, the system is your go-to resource should you want to know who are the maoves and who are the shakers in English cricket. For further information, click here.